Back at the battle field in full power!

I seem to like to start every sentence with an "!" mark. That is just how excited I am every time I start to write.

10 down and 2 more to go before I am given a break, more tests and switched to a different chemo medicine. I must confess that last week was one of the hardest week mentally and physically. My allergic reaction to Taxol peaked at the highest point last weekend. Although the rash was under control by Monday with the new medicine from the dermatologist from Mayo, I still have numb toes and slightly tingling finger tips, but not as bad as my oncologist told me what the numb finger would feel like so I think I am OK on that front. My over worked liver made me very tired on Monday and Tuesday. My sore throat and congested sinus system did not help the situation. I chose to work two 1/2 days from home to isolate myself. There were tons work I could do from home anyway. All in all, my physical condition knocked my mental cheerfulness down a little, but I am still thankful that I can cheerfully complain about all of these:). I hate to be sick. I rarely get sick. When I do, I sleep and typically only take 1/2 day off work and I would be better and back on the go again. I am taking the same attitude. If I have a bad day, I go to bed.

Sleeping and good food still helped a lot. Besides Bert's chicken noodle soup, Chinese egg pudding is always my favor food to cure sore throat. Don't ask me why, I just believe in it. They worked again this time in combination with sleeping. The egg pudding is easy to make. I simply beaten one egg in a small bowl and add some water to double the size. Put the content with the container in boiling water to steam it in low heat for 5 minutes or until it solidified. Add soy sauce and sesame seed oil and serve it hot. I don't have a picture, but this photo from the website looks just like it.

The good news is that my rashes are now under control. My liver function came back nearly normal. My blood counts are low but in good range to continue my chemo. I am given the OK to be back on full dose of Taxol again this week. Yes, having been able to get full dose of chemo medicine is a good news!! I am back on full fighting power again!!

I also had a very pleasant chemo experience. I met and talked with another patience who is in the same clinical study and 2 weeks ahead of me on treatment. She had rashes too, but they look different and are all on her arms. She has the similar tingling feels on her fighters and numb toes. So we had a lot in common to talk about. We are also grateful to have Mayo's "Pink Ribbon Mentorship Program" volunteers visiting us. They are all breast cancer survivors who trigged my last week questions about when one should be consider a survivor. They come to visit chemo breast cancer patients and share their experience and answer our questions while we do chemo. They are very open. We were able to ask questions from how they feel at certain stage of treatment to very personal questions like what kind of breast surgery or reconstruction surgery they had and why they chose that route et al. There are so many volunteers while we do our chemo. There are even people coming over to massage your fingers and toes if you choose to. Bert and I set our goals that when we are retired, we need to spend our time helping other people in the hospital too.

Earlier in my treatment, I thought I would wear a wig all my time when I am bald or may be even wear it for the rest of my life. Things did not go as I had wished. The hot flash and hot weather make wearing wig not as comfortable as I had hoped. And the cool breeze of the fall also makes it cold. God created hair so it can breath through hot and cold weather for us. I have more appreciation now for the little things we take granted for. Anna and Jenny now are so used to my look, that they no long worry about my baldness. They commented many times how much they liked my look with scarf or even without anything. At home I simply running around with a hat or nothing. I am less surprised seeing myself bald in front of mirror too:).

I should have learned in life that I can't say "never". Every time I say "I never...", God always finds way to show me HIS power and I always ended up do the opposite of "I never...". The good news is that God is always right. I enjoy more of these opposite of "I never..." more than I would have never done it. I said, I never would want to live in Michigan before moving here, now I truly enjoy living in this state (maybe I should not say this too loud). As a new mother, I said I would never know how to love another child after my first born baby was born, now I enjoy the blessing loving four wonderful children including two adopted daughters - we just talked about how much we forget they are adopted today!! Bert said he would never consider to date a girl who speak a different language (when someone suggested him date a japanese girl before he met me), now you see what God made him do? I believe he is as happy with me as I am with him now!. We always wanted to buy a house with big acreage and circular drive way. For those who knows where I live, you know God had different plan, but we are very happy with that plan because we simply can't image when we would have time to take care of what we wanted otherwise. I have tons of stories like these. So between the wig and scarf, I enjoy both, but I get more positive comments with scarves. I learn my lesson this time not to say I would never do without scarf, but who knows what God has in plan for me. Time will tell. All I can say is that so far, I have been truly enjoy his blessings!

I am continue grateful and blessed to have my fighting crews from Gentex. They continue to inspire me in every way. They never give up the fight. I am so grateful. I wanted to say everything happen for a reason. Having cancer makes me realized how lucky I am to have this group of friends. Thank you God for showing this to me in this unique way and thank you God for making me strong in the process. I can't fight alone. I need my friends and family to fight with me! I know I will win with their help.

Since I mentioned scarf, I had been surprised with scarves and hats - all my favorite type and colors. Tonight, Anna, Jenny and I had great time play with them. Here are some videos. Anna is the camera girl (with my iPhone) and Jenny is my model.

First pictures only -

Some of the scarves and hats from my Gentex friends. There are many hand made items here.

Some of hats and bandanas from Mayo Clinic via volunteer groups such as loving care. They are all hand made.

Thanks to the Pollack's for this delicious dinner! Corn Chowder, Bread and Carrot Cake!

Here are the videos. We are inexperienced. LOL, we are taping these in our bathroom and with sleeping wears:)) and we made them too long to upload directly here. So I made them in Youtube format to make upload easy. And because they are in Youtube format, at the end of video, it will bring you to other video of the same category. All you have to do is to use the "back" button to go back to my video. They are unlisted that means if you want to share with others, they need to send them the link address. I am no expert. All of these are combination of what I created and what I learned online. I always love to do hairs, either it is hair cut or  braids, now scarf. I also have my own collections of scarves. Many of them are silk scarves collected by my sister for me from China. Unfortunately, these require more time and skills to tie. I can't wait for winter now to have more options for scarves. Who  knows, by then God may have different plans for my head:).

How to tie a long scarf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT1IWg2lRuo

How to tie a tube scarf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8CuOqveZGE

How to tie a square scarf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5ThVZwOQ1M

How to tie a thin scarf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlY0mTUWZ1U

Enjoy. Anna and Jenny both said they wish their school would allow them to wear scarves. You can wear them even you have hair!! Who knows, it may be a new fashion for this year:)