Feel the power of prayers

Oh, there are so much to write but there are so little time!! Tons of things happened in this past few days. I can't decide where to start.

Maybe start with the wig. It is always fun to talk about my hair nowadays in my household. Did I tell you before that my 5 minute shower now becomes 3 minutes and my 30 minutes hairdo each morning now takes only 30 seconds? While, that was until I had more than one wig! It took me nearly 30 minutes to decide which one to use this morning! All I wanted was to have a shorter hair one so my hair does not stay around my neck in this hot weather. Between choosing an outfit and then a hair, life becomes complicated. Sadly, I thought it would be a hot day so I finally walked out with the shorter hair one. Guess what, it was a cold day. Now I will be in a conference for three days. I don't think I should suddenly change it to the longer hair one tomorrow. I will be stuck with the shorter one for at least two more days. Did I say I will wear wig all the time until my hair grows back? I am not sure anymore because it makes my life complicated. I like the way I am at home - running around without hair. So here is a secret for you - before too long, I think I may give up the wig all together.

I am so blessed to have so many friends. Honestly, I did not know I had so many friends before. I am overwhelmed with supports and encouragement I have received so far. I often wonder if I really deserve such wonderful treatment. Every day, I feel I need to be a better person to others because I have been receiving the wonderful gifts of friendship. Girls (and guys) at work have been more diligently praying for me. Every Thursday for the past three weeks since my friends know about my visitor, I have been surprised with a gift in my mail box. Last Thursday, I got a message saying checking my mailbox before leaving for chemo. I worked late to squeeze my five days of work into four days. So by the time I went the mail room, it was nearly 7:30pm. I was surprised with this HUGE fortune cookie filled with cards, notes and words of encouragement and prayers! I literally laugh out loud. Sadly no one was there to share my excitement.

I read every words many times!! Thank you my friends!

By now, all my friends already know the good news that my visitor (aka, the tumor) is not easily palpated anymore. But I still would liked to documented here. After 4 rounds of chemo, I was scheduled to meet my oncologist last Friday to see how I was doing before moving onto the next four weeks according to the study. At the exam, she could not feel the visitor anymore. There was no clear and measurable lump anymore. I can still feel that the area of my breast is different - not necessarily a lump, but may be thickened tissues - it is really hard to say. My doctor was very pleased with what she felt. She wrote in her report "the chemo is working exceedingly well". I, on the other hand, as scientist, really would like to "see" some data. After some discussions, I convinced my doctor to do an ultrasound "just to satisfy the patient's concern" as she wrote it. Unfortunately I have to wait until next week to do so because they could not schedule on quick enough.

Needless to say, I am very excited. I know the medicine is doing its part, but deep down in my heart, I know the power of prayers from my friends and family is the key factor for this good news. I wanted to say that everything happens for a reason or like my son Toby puts it, you can make good out of everything. The good things about me getting cancer so far have been that I am much closer to God today than before, I am much closer to my family and my friends today, I am getting to know so many people I did not know before, I appreciate every day of my life much more than before, I feel the joy of getting up every morning to meet my day, I love to go work, I actually love to do everything... I have no idea where all these come from and why I did not always felt this way before. I believe God heals, spiritually and physically.

Regardless what the ultrasound would reveal, I will still need to finish all the chemos and have surgery at the end. However, ultimately for every neoadjuvant treatment (chemotherapy before surgery), the best outcome would be pathologic complete response (no tumor found at the time of surgery). I hope I am not too greedy to pray that outcome. I do know with the power of prayers and my fighting crews, anything is possible!

The 5th round of chemo went very smoothly. I finished it in less than 2 hours. However, all the time while I had my chemo, I felt bad for the person next to me. She threw up nearly non-stop while having the chemo. Poor thing. I wish I could give her some of my luck. It was like the more she was afraid to throw up, the more easily she did. Nurses were surprised that she even threw up on pre-meds. Someday, I hope there would be other ways to administrate medicines.....I felt a little guilty about the whole thing....

On a different note of life, my girls are at Blue Lake Music Camp this week. I miss them a lot, but I hope they enjoy their time there. Toby moved back to college yesterday. He moved back in two weeks before everyone else because he will be working as "Peer Academic Success Specialist" which comes with free room and board and an iPad and an air-conditioned office. In return, he helps residents on their academic successes with office hours. I think he truly loves that job. In two weeks, Joshua will move back to college too. Another semester of our life will start too. How funny that parents life can also be marked with semesters.