Let's talk about Boobs

Ha! Now I get your attention! Nothing X rated. However, if you are uncomfortable reading about me talking about Boobs, please stop right here.

Merry Christmas to you all!

The moment my doctor called and told me that I have breast cancer, I knew I would get rid of my boobs. Now nearly 6 months later, my thought has not changed. It is not because I don't like my boobs. I think every woman has some attachment to their boobs. Boobs and hair are important to woman. I can't say these things label who we are, but they do have a part of defining us. A woman without boobs may feel incomplete or at least may be seen by others as so.

I don't hate my boobs even though breast cancer made me go through 5 months of chemo and associated me with the scary word of cancer. But somehow, I know the breast cancer reoccurring rate will be associated to my decision of what I do with my breasts. I could have lumpectomy – just remove the tumor and surrounding tissues or single mastectomy – to remove the entire breast with tumor or double mastectomy – to remove both breasts. I am determined to not have to deal with breast cancer again. I want to reduce any chances of breast cancer reoccurring. That is reason I choose double mastectomy.

With this attitude, I have mentally detached from my breasts since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I think that could explain why I am comfortable to have multiple doctors and nurses to examine them. After I decided to join the clinic trial, my breasts became “clinical samples” to me. Surgery will simply be the last step to detach these samples physically from me. They will be labeled with bar codes and sample IDs. They will be used for breast cancer research. I am very happy to make such contribution.

Just like how comfortable I am running around with hair with my family and friends, I think I would be comfortable to live my life without my boobs. My friends and family members would accept me the way how I look without questions. However, I am not sure I would be completely comfortable with strangers. Do I want to be reminded of breast cancer every time I met a stranger? I think that would be difficult. I think looking “normal” will remove any questions or strange stares that would remind me of breast cancer. For this reason, reconstruction of breasts is considered. There are many options of doing so. I will keep these options to myself, at least for now.

In short, my surgery is set for December 24^th. I am going to enter the operation room with two boobs and wake up with two new cancer free boobs. I will have my family with me at least the first two weeks of recovery. I can’t ask for a better Christmas present.

Please continue pray for us. Pray for my doctors with steady hands and clear minds. Pray for my husband keeping his cool and patience. Pray for my kids have good time in Rochester and enjoy a unique Christmas experience.

Merry Christmas to you all!