It is a journey, not a moment.

Looking back my blog, I have said many times in different ways indicating I am done!! Guess what. I am not done. I finally realized and accepted that this is a journey. No matter what it takes, I am determined to win! My implants failed on me. 6 months after I had them, I started to experiencing sharp pains on my left breast. I ignored it thinking I might get sensation back or nerve regrowth. The situation got worse over time. Occasional sharp pains became constant squeezing pain. My curiosity brought my fingers to internet. After some searching, I started to wonder if I developed a condition called capsule contracture. I managed my pain by taking ibuprofen daily. I had to skip some follow up appointments at mayo because of the hash winter we had. Long story short, 10 months after my implants were put in, I saw my plastic surgeon at Mayo Clinic. He confirmed what I had feared. Yes, I had grade 3 capsule contracrure on my left breast and grade 1 on my right. I was offered two options: 1. take these implants out and put new ones in. Chances are that the new one may or may not develop the same problem or 2. take these implants out and use my own body tissue to rebuild breasts (the DIEP procedure I had mentioned in my earlier posts). As eager as I want to get this over, I realized that God has different plans. After many discussions and consultations, I realized that DIEP is the way to go because that will be permanent and my body would not reject my own tissues. Of course, the price I must pay is lengthy surgeries. Yes, mulitple surgeries. It is easy to say after double masectomies that "You are cancer free", "You have kicked cancer's ass", "you are a winner". But it takes a long time to feel normal or like a winner. Worthy it? Yes, absolutely!!! I can't let cancer win. Cancer took some part of my body away. I am fighting to get all back. I want to live healthier and happier than ever. Here is me 1 week after DIEP procedure. My surgery was nearly 10 hours long. They took fat from my tummy and transfer them to my breasts. It requires microsurgery to connect the blood vessels. 12 hours after I woke up from the surgery, they found out that one of the vessel had a blockage. I was sent back to surgery again for anothe 4 hours operations. I was then restricted movement and developed partial lung collapse. It took a longer time for me to recover. Thanks for the care of my dear husband, I bonced back quickly. Doctor said I would need at least 6 weeks to recover. It took me three weeks to back to work part time. Life has been great since. Two more outpatience surgeries will be needed to get minor fix. Every day, I thank God for giving me the strength to fight, for giving me the supports from family and friends, and most of all, for giving me a new life I fully enjoy and treasure!